FOR NEARLY FIVE HOURS I ALTERNATE between lying in a fetal position on our bathroom floor and curling up against the wall, shivering uncontrollably one moment and burning up the next.
I vomit three times on the floor. I rock back and forth in tears, repeating out loud, to myself, to God, to my husband and my dog on the other side of the door, to please, please make this stop. The pain is so blinding that I think I'm hallucinating.
It goes on so long, I don't have the energy to scream, at what feels like every single bone in my body crumbling, my body breaking apart, collapsing into itself. Between each new wave of pain that comes, I try to focus on the broken grout between the floor tiles.
I pass out twice. I am terrified that I will die.
No one should have to fear they may die because of a miscarriage. And yet, for women like me in the United States, in Texas, that fear is very real.
The day before-Labor Day-we had checked into the ER after I began to bleed at work. At nine weeks pregnant, I feared the worst but hoped it was nothing. Panicking at my desk, I immediately called my best friend, who told me to go straight to the emergency room.
At the ER, that panic deepened. The Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization decision by the U.S. Supreme Court, which overturned a woman's constitutional right to an abortion, had been passed three months earlier and, for the first two hours in the waiting room, I could only think of how that decision would now trickle down to me, here.
My brain anxiously cycled through every bad scenario that could happen. My concern wasn't misplaced.
I was eventually called back for bloodwork and asked questions that were probably standard, but sounded increasingly cold and accusatory, about why I was there. I repeated for what seemed the tenth time that I thought I was having a miscarriage.
This story is from the February 16, 2024 edition of Newsweek US.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the February 16, 2024 edition of Newsweek US.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Most Loved Workplaces 2024
A THE WORLD'S MOST LOVED WORKPLACES ARE REMARKABLE FOR A variety of reasons.
Maya Hawke
MAYA HAWKE WEARS MANY HATS: ACTOR, WRITER, SINGER. BUT FOR Hawke, everything comes down to words.
Jacob Anderson
ANNE RICE'S NOVEL INTERVIEW WITH THE Vampire has a rabid fan base, intensely protective of the story and any adaptations of it.
VOTES OF NO CONFIDENCE
Why recent U.K. election results will ring alarm bells for Joe Biden
BIDEN'S BATTLEGROUND ELECTION
A small number of Democrats PROTESTING the president's support for Israel's war in Gaza could PREVENT him from winning a second term
'It's Time to Treat Addiction Like Cancer'
Both are serious illnesses but, unlike those struggling with substance use disorders, didn’t face shame and stigma when seeking help over my tumors
Could Influencers Survive a Tik Tok Ban?
With some content creators able to make good money from views and brand collaborations on the app, losing access to it could come ata high price
All Welcome, Except Some
A Chinese foreign agent is behind an Asian American parade in New York City with Mayor Eric Adams, but not everyone is invited
America's Maternity Hospitals 2024
The arrival of a healthy baby brings unparalleled joy. It's no wonder that families welcoming their newest members are looking for high-quality health care to ensure a smooth delivery and reliable postpartum care.
THE WEST SHOULD EXERT EVERY EFFORT TO MAKE RUSSIA PAY THE HIGHEST PRICE POSSIBLE FOR ITS AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
RUSSIA'S FULL-SCALE INVASION of Ukraine in February 2022 awakened the worst memories for Georgians.